orn in the icy tundra landscape of a south Pennsylvania coal mining town in the winter of 1890, then-named Nickalaus Komolanov Ivinski II grew up in a large family of Russian (or Polish) immigrants struggling to stay afloat in the socially and economically troubling years following the Industrial Revolution.

Even at a young age, Nickalaus showed remarkable talent in various pursuits - bovine husbandry, phrenologic diagnoses of condemned madmen, and the fine arts. However, Nickalaus' abilities were under appreciated by his impoverished working-class family, and his earliest etchings and daguerreotype studies of the squalorous landscape of his home town and its downtrodden folk were pawned by his father for much-needed medicinal opium and leeches.

At the age of 22, Nickalaus met his demise in the spring of 1912 when he fell victim to an outbreak of cholera. The young man slipped into a coma and a week later was run over by a train. When informed of his untimely death, Nickalaus expressed only a mild sense of befuddlement, quietly remarking "Consarnit."

Not letting the Great Equalizer Itself impede his lofty goals, he changed his name to the hearty, American moniker "Nicholas Ivins" and moved on in both his career and geographic location. He became a full time student of the arts and drifted around the world, selling his illustrations worldwide to pay for his extravagant lifestyle and exorbitant gambling debts.

Nicholas eventually settled in San Diego in the latter part of the 20th century, where to this day he continues to amaze and delight citizens of all ages and walks of life with his nutty art shtick, as well as continuing to thumb his nose at the Grim Reaper Himself.

When asked about his early life, Nick only shakes his head and angrily mutters to himself, "Flatulence of God! Where did that train come from?!"